Exiting the Mummy Cocoon

We had a Halloween Party yesterday and when speaking to the other mothers we discovered something that we all had in common.

Approximately 2 - 3 years after the birth of our children we emerged from what I like to term The Mummy Cocoon. Yawning and stretching, we stick our heads out of the comfort zone and notice with a shock that the world as we knew it is still there. But we no longer fit in the same place as we did pre-children.

When we have small children, our whole life is consumed by them. When (if) they sleep, if they sleep through the night, if they are sleeping in our beds,  what they are eating and drinking, if they are pooing and weeing enough, are they being socialised, are they developing, growing, learning...

This leaves little time for ourselves, especially if the children are close in age.

Then suddenly the youngest child can eat independently, is toilet trained, can play for a while alone. Perhaps the elder child is already in school, and the younger child starts to go to playschool or nursery.

We can go to the supermarket alone, without "Can I have that" echoing every 30 seconds. It is a treat to go the supermarket alone, a chore that 5 years previously was an every day boring task is now elevated to a fun morning. Maybe we can even meet a friend for coffee and chat without being interrupted.

We might look in the mirror and notice with a shock that the tactic of shoving our hair up in a pony tail occasionally has become and everyday occurrence and we cannot recall when we last had a haircut/manicure/facial. Which does not mean that all mothers "let themselves go" but with two young children it requires a lot more organisation to keep up with the beauty maintenance that used to be so easy.

We might realise that it has been a while since we have been to the gym, or that we now have time to restart a hobby, or learn a new one.

Generally at this point we will turn to thoughts of going back to work, if we haven't already. This is where it gets tricky for many mothers, going by the experience of many of my friends.

Ideally, going back to work requires good and reliable childcare, flexible working hours and conditions but this is really not that easy to find. When I started working in sales, I did not consider how difficult it would be to work in a field that requires their staff to work evenings and weekends. Since having the children, I have not returned to that job.

We wake from our self-imposed hibernation to find that the choices we made in earlier, child-free life, do not still apply today. We have changed, our priorities have changed. Our lives have changed.

For many, this time is almost a re-birth. A discovery of what we are now, and how much we have changed. One only has to look at the many websites offering handmade jewellery, fabulous cupcakes, stunning bespoke wedding stationary or see how many women turn their hand to something new like photography websites, Painting gorgeous pictures, writing children's books, blogging and writing, or retrain to work as Interior Designers after the birth of their children. I know many women who have found a successful second career, born out of the necessity of fitting in with family life.

The Holy Grail - a job that brings money, satisfaction and flexible hours working from home - is what we all seek.

So if anyone has an idea how I can make money out of sitting in front of the computer all day, do let me know.

Would you post a picture of your Mummy Tummy on the Internet?

Urgh. Am I the only one who hates the "Mummy" tag? Slummymummy, Yummymummy, Mummyblogger and now Mummytummy.

The Mummytummy discussion is hot at the moment, due to the magic cream that supposedly gets rid of the post-natal bulge. There are websites that encourage their users to post photos of their midriffs to show that they are proud of their Mummytummy as it shows that they have given birth to their children.

While I agree that the media obsession with the latest sleb to slim down to pre-baby weight just after the birth is horrible, I am not going to be posting a pic of my tummy anytime soon.

It is surely not a secret that the recovery after the birth is not due to any miracle sleb juice or creams, but to hard work and determination. For women like Heidi Klum and Denise Van Outen, this is eased by the fact that they likely have access to childcare and personal trainers. For normal women it is much more difficult to juggle having a new baby, perhaps going back to work or the school run for older children, with a diet and fitness regime. Not to mention the fact that for those of us not reliant on the shape of our body to get work, like models and actresses, it is not really a priority in those first hazy days and sleepless nights.

A flat tummy is down no genes and determination, not gloop out of a tube.

I also have a problem with the whole Mummytummy thing in that it gives the impression that there is nothing to be done, that it is all part and parcel of motherhood.

After the birth of my second child in 2004 I put on a fair bit of weight. In 2005 I lost it, and with regular visits to the gym had as close to a flat tummy as I have had for years. Over the past few years I have put on weight again. I would like to lose that weight as I know I would feel better about myself but it is not the hook that I hang my self-esteem on. At the moment I am pretty damn content with my life.

If and when I lose the weight, I may still have a small tummy. I can live with that but I won't blame it on the fact that I gave birth. As if being a mother gives me absolution.

The final point I have to make about the whole Mummytummy debate is that I hate the fact that women are again being reduced to their status as a mother. My tummy belongs to me. I may have carried a couple of babies in there, but it is mine and not theirs.

I am a mother but it does not define my whole being. 

I am me.

Is it possible to ski in Switzerland on a budget?

When times are tough, the first thing that many families rethink is a holiday, particularly a skiing holiday. So I thought it would be a good time to recommend a place where skiing is not so expensive.

The area that I am recommending today is not even an half hour from Geneva airport, where EasyJet flights from various UK airports are scheduled daily.

It is not as high as the mountains of Mt Blanc so not suitable for holidaying very early or late in the season. It is also not a big resort so if you are looking for apres ski party then you will be disappointed.

It is however great for a relaxing holiday, and for learning to ski. The area is called Massif des Brasses, or Les Brasses.

Whether you chose to stay in the slightly larger town of Saint Jeoire or the tiny but quaint village of Bogeve, you can be sure that you will pay a lot less than for a holiday in Chamonix or Morzine. This renovated farmhouse in Bogeve is not a typical pretty chalet, but it looks good inside and is just a short drive from the slopes, and at €950 not too expensive. In Onnion this chalet is available for a similar price. These apartments in Bogeve are pretty basic, but from a bargain €200 for 4 people, possibly the cheapest way to ski in France. These I have found by googling "chalet les brasses", I have no personal knowledge of the accommodation, but it does show that a skiing holiday in France does not have to cost a fortune, if you are willing to downsize a bit.

We go to Plaine Joux for sledging. There are two prepared pistes for sledging, a cross country track, ski school and equipment hire available. The restaurant is more like a canteen, but there is a little buvette that sells hot chocolate, coffee and crepes right at the bottom of the sledging piste. A couple of minutes walk away there is a traditional restaurant which serves local specialties in a typical Alpine style chalet.

After the fun in the snow,  chocolat chaud and crepes really hits the spot.

We have not been skiing yet, but friends have told us that the area is great for the kids learning to ski. The prices for the lift pass are €100 for a 6 day pass for adults, and €74 for kids. In comparison to the other ski resorts, that is almost half price.

Chamonix is about an hour away, so if you want to do some more serious skiing or fancy a trip on one of the cable cars, it is not a long drive. If you do go to Chamonix, then don't miss the fabulous Mer de Glace that I blogged about our first winter in Switzerland.

We shall be heading up to Plaine Joux as soon as it snows. We have spent Christmas Eve there the past two years, sledging and walking with the kids. It is a good start to the Festive Season. Cannot wait.

Home dye kit for Cheryl - Yeah right.

Did anyone see the Daily Mail this week where we were told that Cheryl, following her very own Austerity Measures, decided to forgo the salon treatment, and her staff of beauty assistants to dye her hair at home.

Cheryl after her home dye adventure. Pic from Daily Mail.

Visions of Cheryl, perched on the loo seat while one of her pals - Victoria Beckham or Colleen Rooney perhaps - painstakingly paints on L'Oreal Casting Gloss. They would take swigs of bubbly while chatting about their cheating husbands.

No? Not really believable?

What I find incredible is that both L'Oreal and Cheryl's publicist thought that we, the public would buy this tall tale.

Perhaps she has truly used the product but I doubt she put it on herself.

Saying that, I have been using the blonde version of L'Oreal Casting Gloss for a couple of months now and I have to say that it is FANTASTIC. Instead of spending CHF 100 at the hairdresser, I spend CHF 20 and have already had several compliments on my new hair colour. It looks almost as if I have had highlights done - there are somehow several shades of blonde in there.

So, whether you believe Cheryl or not, I can definitely recommend the product. And without the article I probably wouldn't have blogged about it. Not bad PR after all then.

Classic Cars, Lake Geneva and Sunshine

A pretty good combination, if you ask me. A couple of weeks ago we went to the Morges British Classic Car Meeting. It is an annual event, attracting over 1500 cars and motorbike and over 20 000 visitors. The town of Morges is situated on the banks of Lake Geneva. The pedestrianised shopping street is not far from the promenade and is particularly inviting on Saturdays because of the Farmers' Market. 

We had a wander amongst the French antiques, soaps and delicacies before heading down to the Lakeside where the cars vied for attention with the lake and the mountains beyond. We had a pretty good spot, opposite the harbour. 

 

 There were a few stalls offering every kind of spare part imaginable plus motoring memorabilia and books.

The shouts of other visitors alerted us to the amusing sight of a car in the water, it cruised quite close to the shoreline, whether to show off the fabulous car or out of concern about going further into the deep deep lake, we were unsure. 

Later we were able to see the car out of the water, when it had dried off a bit. 

We did wonder what was in the Mini-Bar - champagne, beer?

The Swiss and Their Tunnels - Gotthard Breakthrough

The Swiss are famous for many things, chocolate and watches, banks and tunnels.

Tunnels? Well, yes. Switzerland has over 40 road tunnels over 2km length, with 11 more tunnels either planned or already being built. It is not hard to guess why there are so many Swiss tunnels, the picturesque mountains and valleys may be a rambler's dream but they are a driver's nightmare, if the driver wishes to get from A to B fast.

When we travel in Switzerland we chose - scenic route that takes hours or autobahn that gets us where we want to go quickly and efficiently. When we drove to Italy last year we travelled through the Mont Blanc tunnel to get to Turin, but returned over the mountain passes - Col de Mt Cenis, Col de Iseran.

Which would you prefer?

The tunnels are not just a convenience for motorists, they are also a major part of the Swiss ecological policy, in particular the rail tunnels. 

Today the Swiss are celebrating something rather special, the breakthrough of the Gotthard Base Tunnel. On completion in 2017, it will be the longest rail tunnel worldwide, at 57km (35 miles). This means that Zurich bankers can travel to Milan for a spot of shopping in only 2 1/2 hours, a whole hour shorter than at present.

Picture from Tagesanzeige.ch

From 10am CET you can watch online here to see Sissi the giant drill crumble the final centimeters of rock and rubble. 

Even for the Swiss, this is a big thing. The decision to build tunnel was not without controversy, costing  CHF 9.5 for the tunnel, with the cost for the entire Gotthard project currently CHF 12.2bn - CHF 5bn over the original estimate. The Gotthard Base Tunnel is a part of the Neuen Eisenbahn- Alpentransversale (Neat) - the Swiss plan to transfer as much traffic as possible from the roads onto the railway lines. Over 60% of the Swiss population voted for this project, which will cost CHF 20bn and see both the Gotthard Base Tunnel and the Ceneri-Tunnel in Tessin finished by 2019.

The Swiss Transport Minister will be joined by the pioneer of NEAT, Alt-Bundesrat Adolf Ogi  and other dignitaries to celebrate the breakthough. Over the course of the building work, 23 of the over 2500 workers have lost their lives. Their names will be read out at the ceremony today. You  can watch it live from 10am CET (9am GMT) online on the website of the Tagesanzeiger

UPDATE:

These pictures show the euphoria and relief that the planned breakthrough went as planned, and serve as a reminder of the eight workers who lost their lives during the tunnel construction.

 

Photo from B.Z. Berlin

Photo from Mittelbayerishe Zeitung

Rebirth of a Village - Gondo 10 years after the catastrophe

It has been ten years since the landslide in Gondo, that cost 13 villagers their lives, and destroyed a third of the Alpine village. Gondo is a small town, close to the Simplon Pass, right on the border to Italy.

10 years ago, few had even heard of the village, but the events that were to unfold on the 14th October 2000 meant that every Swiss person knew where it was by the end of that fateful day.

Heavy rainfall for three days caused a massive landslide which crashed through the centre of the village, destroying everything in its path. Ten houses, the school, shops, the road and most of the village landmark, the Stockalperturm were swept away in a matter of minutes. The village was cut in half, which greatly hampered rescue attempts. The remaining villagers were evacuated by helicopter, the helicopter pilot will be honoured today in Gondo for his courage.

Of the 160 inhabitants of Gondo, around 100 remain. The school was shut 3 years ago so the children are bussed to the nearby Simplon Dorf.
The Swiss population dug their hands deep into their pockets to donate CHF 12.8million for the reconstruction of the village. This was completed several years ago, and when we passed thought Gondo earlier this year, the newly constructed centre of the village was obvious to see.

One of the most impressive sights, was the reconstruction of the Stockalperturm, and its transformation into a hotel and restaurant. The sleek lines and bare minimalist decor are a surprise in an Alpine village, where checked red table cloths, deer antlers and dark cosy rooms are the normal restaurant style. Before the disaster, about 60 guests a year stayed overnight in Gondo's guesthouses. Now the hotel attracts over 3000 visitors a year; business seminars, weddings and regular attractions such as a Scottish evening with whisky tasting help to bring visitors to Gondo.

It is a symbol of the village spirit, the determination of the villagers to rebuild their village and their lives.

 

 

 

Why I should never leave the house without my camera.

For the simple reason that I live in a part of the world

that even nipping to the supermarket can bring me past a panorama such as this one.

What does a ski resort look like in the summer?

The summer months are long for a ski resort, and many of them are ghost towns at the moment. Particularly in the months directly before and after the ski season, there is nothing at all to do. Most of the hotels and restaurants are closed, no cafes, no bars. It is difficult to imagine that in a few short months this place will be packed with holidaymakers, whizzing between the slopes, the chalets and the apres ski parties.

We were in Avoriaz last weekend, and it was dead as a dodo. There were slightly more people out and about in Morzine, but even there we could not find anyplace to have a bite to eat at 3pm. Not even a cake or waffel. We resorted to ice cream, consumed sitting in the sun while watching the children play on the big square. There has been a lot of building work over the summer, it is almost finished and Morzine is ready to welcome the winter guests.

Review - Jilly Cooper - Jump! - Contains some spoilers.

When I read that there was a new Jilly Cooper book due out, I was - excited would be too much, but interested definitely. Despite being disappointed with her last couple of books, I had hoped that this book would see a return to the JC of Rivals and Riders.

The first book that I read of the Rutshire series was Rivals which I read when I was about 16 years old. Jilly Cooper wrote books that were different, more adult than the books I had been reading until then. There were racy scenes that made me hide in my bedroom, embarrassed to be seen by my Dad while reading and there were funny scenes that made me laugh out loud, long before anyone had thought up the abbreviation LOL.

Not being able to wait for a hardback copy to wing its way to me, I promptly downloaded Jump! onto my Kindle. First thought was that I dislike books with an explanation mark in the title. Call me fussy, but it always reminds me of people who write, "I am a crazy girl, lol!!" on their Facebook page. Jump! just seems to be trying too hard.

Second disappointment was the map of the area in which Jump! is set. The print was too small and it was very difficult to read. Not a problem in the hardback book, I am sure but not good on the Kindle. The following list of characters almost made me switch the Kindle off. Jilly is known for her long list of characters with funny nicknames but Jump! takes this to a whole new level. There were so many characters that I was sure that I would not be able to remember who was who.

Reading a hard back, this would have been less of a problem but flicking back and forward on the Kindle is a pain. As I started to read, I could see that I would be doing this often. There are just too many people in this book and many of them are not needed for the plot.

The plot. Well, doormat wife Etta Bancroft (think Kitty from The Man Who Made Husband Jealous, 30 years on, but prettier) is widowed when her domineering and controlling husband dies. Her money-grasping children sell the house from under her feet and set her up in a horrible small cottage near their homes so as to abuse her loyalty by making her care for their children. Doormat Etta finds a seriously maltreated horse near to her home, nurses the horse, Mrs Wilkinson, back to life - in the home of a local MrBig, Valent Edwards, a widower in his 60s. When Mrs Wilkinson shows promise as a race horse, a syndicate of friends and neighbours raise the money to pay for training and racing of the horse.

There follows a tale of ambitious jockeys and horse owners. Jilly's most popular hero, Rupert Campbell-Black puts in an appearance with his delectable wife, Taggie. Billy Llyod-Foxe's daughter Amber is drafted in as a jockey, Dora Belevedere is introduced at the beginning of the book but seems to be forgotten about half way though. 

Etta's granddaughter Trixie was in one scene that made me put the book down in disgust. Trixie was a not quite 16 year old girl, who was lured unwillingly into a foursome. When I write unwilling, I mean unwilling, not giving consent. For me this is abuse, pure and simple, and it was portrayed as normal people who were having a bit of a romp that went too far. Even when Trixie eventually confided in Amber, she was not told that she should report the abuse, the rape. Is it any wonder that the rape conviction rate is so low in UK if this is how popular culture views sexual abuse?

If the above scene had not been included, then I might have overlooked the cast of hundreds, the cliched story line, the fact that JC is overly reliant on spiky adolescent girls with a wicked sense of humour - I cannot even tell them apart anymore - Amber, Trixie, Dora, Caitlin, Perdita... all very much of a sameness. I read to the end, but without much enthusiasm.

The book reads like it has been assembled from cuttings from previous books. As much as I loved Rivals and Riders, I have read them and I want to read something new from Jilly Cooper. Not just a cobbled together bunch of cliches and worn out characters. The heroine was such a wet dishcloth, the spunky girls bored me, the death of a well-loved character was a bit rushed - there was more attention paid to the horses who died. All in all, a disappointment.

Jump? By then end of the book, I would have preferred to Throw! it away.

Black and White vs Colour - which do you prefer?

The beauty of digital photography is what you can do after the shot is taken.

While I am not a fan of Photoshop I do sometimes dabble with it to see what a photo would look like in black and white.

Without the distraction of colour, the eye is drawn to light and shadow, to details that might not show themselves otherwise.

I thought it would be interesting to put these two shots together to see the direct comparison. I printed this shot in black and white, and framed it for the exhibition.

If it does not sell then there is a spot in the dining room waiting for it to come home.

My first Writers' Workshop Experience

As I mentioned yesterday, I have recently signed up for a Writers' Workshop. Today was the first day that I could attend.

When I arrived I could smell the coffee and sense the anticipation as the women mingled. New to the whole thing, I had only brought one copy of my short story on the theme Rite of Passage, so I rushed off to copy it for everyone. Refreshed by the coffee, we began.

First one to read was a woman who wrote about motherhood being a Rite of Passage. Her work was constructively criticised with the emphasis on the constructive. The pieces were varied - from birth to first boyfriend, teenage disappointment, engagement and marriage, even bereavement. I was struck by the different writing styles and voices. One story moved me to tears, which since I am a soppy big girls blouse, is not really that difficult.

The criticism was gentle and extremely helpful. We were encouraged to pencil notes onto our copies and afterwards return the copy to the writer, with our opinion of the story. It is rather nerve wracking to do this, particularly when one is sitting opposite the writer.

By the time it was my turn, I was a bit nervous and stumbled over my first paragraphs. Note to self: do not include words which you are unsure how to pronounce. Chai latte tripped me up twice. Is it Tschai?

The comments were thankfully positive, although one woman queried if a school girl would drink Chai Latte and eat low fat muffins - she certainly might in Geneva. At least my protagonist did not carry a Hermes Birkin bag, like the schoolgirl I saw last week on the Rue de Rhône.

One suggestion that I am going to try to put into practice is to avoid the adjectives lovely, beautiful, amazing, stunning... and the like.  For instance, instead of "the beautiful street" use "the cobbled street", instead of "the amazing mountains" use "the snow-capped mountains". More descriptive and visual than a general "lovely".

Another way of avoiding these general adjectives is to use stronger verbs. "walking quickly" can easily be replaced by "strode" or "rushed".

As a writer who over-uses the word "lovely", I shall try to put this into practice. You are hereby given permission to slap me with a cold wet fish if I use the word "lovely" again.

Rite of Passage - A Short Story

I have written a short story for the writer's workshop tomorrow.

The theme this month is "Rite of Passage".

Ella looked around the table at the familiar faces, suddenly aware that it would be the last time that they would all sit together. Sure, they would meet again when everyone was home for the holidays but the days of lounging for hours, lingering over chai lattes, sharing a low fat muffin, while discussing school work, these days were almost over. So many hours had been spent here in Starbucks, and soon she would be drinking her chai latte alone, at least until she had made some friends. An outgoing girl, she was hopeful that she would find friends soon after her arrival in London. Until now she had been looking forward to going, but the day of departure was close now and she worried about how she would cope. 

Just two days later she was on a plane, her first flight alone. She felt anxious but tried not to show it, acting blasé, as if she flew alone on a weekly basis. Accepting the offer of tea from the flight attendant she flicked nervously through the in-flight magazine, not seeing the words in front of her. Instead she visualised her home, imagined her mother coming home from the airport, greeting the dog, putting the kettle on. Yes, Mum would have tea and treat herself to a chocolate biscuit. Blinking back tears at the thought of her mother cuddling their dog for comfort, she looked out of the window. Grey. Grey. Grey. Descending from the clouds she saw London appear below her through the drizzle.

Once inside the airport building, she followed the other passengers blindly, going through passport control and then down snaking corridors to find her luggage. Dragging two cases she headed for the exit, hoping that her mother’s friend was there. Emerging from behind the smoked glass doors, she was disorientated by the noise and the confusion of Heathrow Airport. People everywhere, shouting, waving, laughing as they caught their loved ones to them and held them tight. Slightly frantic she searched the crowd for Aunt Elisabeth, sighing in relief as she spotted the distinctive red haired woman. Aunt Elisabeth enfolded her in a warm and fragrant hug. At once, Ella was reminded of the holidays that they had spent together in France, her mother and Ella sitting until the wee hours of the morning laughing and talking. Swept by a wave of homesickness she clung to Aunt Elisabeth and struggled not to cry. 

Aunt Elisabeth swept Ella into the car, chattering all the time. As they crept their way up the slip road to the M25 Ella began to feel better. By the time they had reached the University grounds, the sun was peeping through the clouds, warming the red brick facade. Standing outside the Halls of Residence, Ella lifted her chin, straightened her spine and took a confident step forward.

Photo Exhibition Vernissage

Today is the big day. The Vernissage of the Photo Exhibition, and the first time that I have shown anyone other than family and friends my photos. Well, aside from various Internet Sprites who have looked at my blog.

What a difference it makes seeing the photos framed properly, with a passpartout. I will take some photos tonight, but here is a sneak preview.