Why switching off the TV is not enough - Eastenders Baby-Snatching Storyline

There has been some controversy over the past couple of weeks about the Eastenders baby-snatching storyline. In case you are not a viewer of the British soap, the story begins with the birth of two babies, to two friends who both live in Albert Square.

When one of the babies dies of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), the distraught mother, Ronnie, swaps her son's lifeless body for that of her friend's baby. The other woman, Kat, discovers what she thinks to be her son, dead in his moses basket. This is truly ridiculous - when my children were babies, I could have picked them out of a line up of dozens of babies - why would she not notice that the dead baby was not her son?

I became aware of this story through Mumsnet.

Over the years, there has been a small band of women on MN, to which none of the posters aspire to join. It is a group of mothers who have lost children, whether babies, toddlers, school children, teenagers - they hold together, support each other, welcome those unfortunate enough to join their midst. They also patiently answer questions from other posters -  how best to support a bereaved friend or how to acknowledge the life and death of a child when writing Christmas cards. These women educate us and humble us.

One of these women expressed her anger at the Eastenders storyline, saying that she felt insulted by the portrayal of the bereaved mother as a crazy baby-snatcher, as if this were a normal reaction, a common risk.

Would it have occurred to me to protest, to be outraged if I had not read her post? Probably not. At first I had the same reaction as many had, "Just don't watch it, switch the TV off". After reading the responses of others who have lost children, I have changed my mind.

To say, "It is fiction, it is not real life, it is a drama, a soap" is missing the point. To assert that viewers will understand that it is not real, they are not that stupid is wrong. As the BBC is aware, soap operas are highly influential in UK. I recall a woman saying to an Irish friend of mine, "Ooooh, you are not that Irish Carole from Coronation Street, who had the fling with Gayle's husband". Separating fact from fiction is, for some, not that easy.

The BBC missed the opportunity to educate the British public, to show the truth about bereaved parents, to show how it really is and to show how we can help and support these parents. Instead they skimmed over the bereavement and dashed right on to the baby-snatching story in their attempt to win viewers.

Would a bereaved parent steal a baby? Unanimous NO from those who have been in that horrible situation. They don't want a baby, they want their baby. They would not inflict the pain of child-loss on their worst enemy, never mind a friend.  They already have to fight against pre-conceptions, silently accepting that some of their so-called friends will avoid them, or look at them suspiciously when they show interest in their friend's baby.

Let us be clear. Nothing that the BBC shows will ever hurt these people as much as losing their children. One of the worst times of the year for the bereaved is Christmas. The BBC showed incredible insensitivity by broadcasting this sensationalist crap over the festive season. The only reason they did this is to up ratings.

We can only hope that the opposite happens, and that enough people turn away from their televisions in disgust to show the BBC that they have completely overstepped the mark.